Tuesday, May 12, 2009

A diversion

I have not run in almost 5 days, if not longer - and while I would prefer not to think about it, the self guilt it pretty strong, I keep waking up going why do you feel you HAVE to go to the gym/for a run. Yes you paid money for the race, yes it is a full marathon and time is a ticking, but let's clarify this - you are on your second round of antibiotics because you believed that you HAD to run despite everything. So stop, sleep, eat and enjoy the wonders of Biaxin (or not), and let's ditch this necessity thing. But of course running isn't the only place in my where I've encountered this, and maybe that's why I've started to get so adamant with myself about it all. Let's be honest - why am I running? Am I running for a PR? Am I running so that I won't pause when a specific person hugs me, or worry what someone thinks of my physique? Am I running for health? Am I running to be one of those people that makes the rest feel guilty? Or am I running for other reason?

I have to say I know that every race will likely by a PR as I go forward, and sure I run/gym for feeling firmer rather than soft, but if that's all that matters to someone I'm not sure I'm okay with that, do I run to make you feel bad, no but I hope I run, like J to inspire someone to get up and get out - run to the end of their block and each time just go a little father, because you never know where you'll end up taking yourself, what you'll be able to change.

So while I'm out of commission I hope the rest of you are running on, I'll catch up in no time.

Today's Musical Reference comes courtesy of J:

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