Tuesday, November 10, 2009

The Fear

I might break any moment - I wish I could run forever, run all this stress out of my body, and at the same time find some peace, rest and health. I have a sore throat. I have an ever growing list of things that need to be done and bought and an ever shortening supply of both time and money.

I have yet to complete a legitimate LONG run - it has not been without trying. I have been hit with hives post Tamiflu intake, last week N and I got rained out. Now I would like to clarify we were running during a rain and wind warning in a city where those things while normal and really an every day occurrence - is still nothing to be scoffed at. N and I managed about 2 miles before voting that hypothermia was something that neither of us felt was necessary to strive for. I know that I can do a solid easy 5-6 miles, seen lots of hills, I've completed two half marathons, the second with no rests - my folly/my belief is at the moment out of in part pure necessity is this - I can do this, however it goes down I will see that wall, I will hit that wall and I will by the grace of God find a way around it...or through it. I will finish that damn race...

If you think of me November 22 - could you say a prayer for me - my legs, my weakness, my fear and reality that life is really just one foot in front of the other.

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